|
|
Join us each Tuesday as Bob Ingersoll analyzes how the law
is portrayed in comics then explains how it would really work.
Current Installment >>
Installment Archives |
About Bob |
General Forum
THE LAW IS A ASS for 05/29/2001
DOCKET ENTRY
"The Law is a Ass" Installment # 97
Originally written as installment # 86 and published in Comics Buyer's Guide issue # 671, September 26, 1986 issue
The sad thing about the old Golden Age and Silver Age stories--the ones we all remember so fondly from our youth--is that if you go back and re-read them--carefully, and not through the biased eyes of our youth--you'll see that a lot of those old stories we remember so fondly from our youth were silly. Really silly. I mean really, really silly.
Justice League of America # 8 was one of those.
******
"The Law is a Ass"
Installment # 86
by
Bob Ingersoll
Wait a minute, let me check my mailbox.
Just as I thought. No angry epistles. No threats. No letter bombs.
I was right last time, old comics are safe. No one cares about them, no one gets angry if I trash them. Well, I know upon which side my bread is buttered.(Just who came up with this phrase, anyway. I mean, unless you're incredibly rich and equally lazy, everyone should know which side their bread is buttered on, they're the ones buttering it)
Which old gem should I eviscerate this time? Michael J. Susko, Jr. of San Francisco wants me to write about "For Sale--the Justice League" from Justice League of America # 8 the December 1961 issue. Okay, JLA # 8 it is.
Pete Ricketts, a small time hood, finds an experimental Cyberniray, a flashlight which compels anyone it is shined on to obey the commands of the person who shined it. Now, if you or I were to find that ray, and if we were of a criminal bent, what might we do with it? I, for one, would use it in secret to plunder armored cars or jewelry stores and insure that the victims forgot all about the incident or what I looked like. I could insure my fortune, as long as I kept Cyberniray's existence a secret.
Pete Ricketts decides to go after a big kill and use the ray to collect on the million dollar contract that The Ten, a cadre of top underworld figures, has placed on the JLA. Now we know why Pete is small-time; he wants the big kill. All he has to do is make a series of smaller heists and he could get the same million without involving the JLA or risking their interference and eventual triumph. (I didn't give anything away there with that "eventual triumph" line, did I? You all knew the JLA won out in the end? This is the original JLA, after all, not Vibe and the Pretenders. We're talking competence and results here.)
Ricketts summons JLA members one by one and bathes them in the Cyberniray. Ricketts auctions off the members to the Ten so that the JLA can steal for them. (Unfortunately, only six active members of the JLA were available at this time. That means four members of the Ten went without. They must have felt bad.)
Now, if you or I had a member of the JLA as a slave who would steal for us, what would we do? I would send him or her out to commit thefts. Or better yet, there's all that money you could get without breaking the law. (At least anymore laws, considering we're already violating kidnap statutes and the Fourteenth Amendment.) Aquaman could get sunken treasures. Martian Manhunter could dig out diamond mines. Green Lantern could make a green Geiger counter and find uranium deposits. Flash could mine all the rivers and streams in the world for gold and still be back in time for high tea. Green Arrow could... Well, I suppose I could always enter him in the Olympics and hock the gold metal. But I know what I wouldn't do.
I wouldn't bet the other members of the Ten which JLA slave was the most worthwhile slave and go about proving it by having the JLA members compete with each other by sending them out after the same loot, figuring whoever got it was the most useful. Talk about counter-productivity. At least the four members of the Ten who didn't get to buy a JLAer had to feel better about what happened than the poor sucker who purchased Green Arrow and found out GA had to compete for loot.
So, guess what The Ten, those criminal masterminds do?
Ricketts orders the JLA not to try to call anyone with their signal devices, and sends them out to compete over some treasures. Green Lantern and Flash fight over some jewels. But someone else steals them, before GL or Flash can. Green Arrow and Aquaman do battle over a ship board safe. But while they are fighting, someone steals the safe first. Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter combat for some radium. However, while they duke it out, someone else...
Oh, you get the idea.
The JLA goes back to report their failure to the Ten. The Ten decides that the entire team is inept and puts the JLA into death traps designed to cash in on each member's individual weakness. (Why are super heroes dumb enough to tell the bad guys what their weaknesses are? I mean there is such a thing as taking "fair play" too far. If I had a power ring that worked against everything except yellow, I'd tell people it was powerless against dust bunnies, that would fox 'em!) The JLA escapes and catches the Ten. Ricketts can't use the ray on them. He doesn't have it anymore. Snapper Carr stole it from Ricketts, while he wasn't looking.
Snapper Carr? Old readers of the JLA will remember their teenage mascot, Snapper Carr, an ordinary teenager who attended JLA meetings, recorded their adventures, and tried to attract the younger reader by snapping his fingers while also talking like Kookie.
Kookie? Even older readers will remember Gerald Lloyd (Kookie) Kookson, III, the hip talking parking lot attendant from the TV show 77 Sunset Strip. Younger readers, nevermind. Some things just don't translate well into the '80s.
Are you ready for the thrilling resolution? As the JLA members fought each other, they realized that they had only been ordered not to activate their own signal devices, not someone elses. So while they fought, they also activated each other's signal devices. (See, sometimes the technicalities work for the good guys.) Snapper answered the calls, and took the loot, before the JLA could steal it. Later he stole the Cyberniray and freed the JLA from its influence.
Mike wanted to know certain things about this story. First, he wanted to know if the JLA would have been guilty of theft offenses, if they had stolen stuff while under the influence of the Cyberniray.
No.
To commit a crime the criminal must have both an actus reus, that is a criminal act, and a mens rea, that is a criminal mentality. In other words (i.e. words that aren't Latin), if the offender doesn't have the requisite culpable mental state, his act isn't a crime.
First and foremost, a culpable mental state requires a conscious act. The actor must be in control of his own actions. If he isn't, then he lacks the mens rea and isn't guilty of crimes. So the JLA, which was under the control of the Cyberniray, and not in control of their actions, didn't have the required mental state. All they'd have to do would be to have the scientist who invented the Cyberniray testify about its effect and have Snapper testify about what he did and saw, and the JLA would be in the clear.
The classic example of this principle given in law school is a man who commits otherwise illegal acts while sleep walking. As he is unconscious, he lacks the culpable mental state and hasn't committed a crime.
It's poll time, gentle readers. Ask around. Inquire of your parents. Check with doctors. Read the encyclopedia. Are there really any documented cases of somnambulists who are so active, they will go out and commit otherwise illegal acts while in the arms of Morpheus? Or is this, if you'll excuse the expression, just the stuff that dreams are made of?
Mike wanted to know if Snapper was guilty of theft offenses, when he took the property, before the JLA could steal it. After all, he wasn't under the influence of any Cyberniray.
No.
Snapper's in the clear, too. Theft is the act of taking property from another with the intent of depriving the owner of it. Snapper took property to keep someone else from stealing the property. He didn't intend to deprive the owner of it. In fact, he turned it over to the police later so they could give it back to the owners. At least, he said he did. We never actually saw him do it. I always did wonder how Snapper financed his college education.
Mike also wanted to know what they could get Ricketts and the Ten on. Nothing too complicated there. Along with the counts of kidnaping the JLA and violating the Fourteenth Amendment, people who use duress or some other form of mind control to force others to commit crimes are guilty of the same crimes they were forcing others to commit. Unfortunately, this principle doesn't apply to network executives, who use the threat of cancellation to force unspeakable crimes out of TV producers. How else can Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling! be explained? Someone still has to answer for that one.
Ah, this is great! Old comics. No hassles. No pressures. No threats.
No threats, Bob? How about this? Write about an old story next column and we'll replace you with a reprint of Brother Power, the Geek, DON & MAGGIE.
Oh.
Look out, Vigilante, I'm armed for bear now!
<< 05/22/2001 | 05/29/2001 | 06/05/2001 >>
Discuss this installment with me in World Famous Comics' General Forum.
Recent Installments:
Current Installment >>
Installment Archives |
About Bob |
General Forum
|
|
|
Anything Goes Trivia
Last Kiss
