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THE LAW IS A ASS for 05/14/2002
DOCKET ENTRY
"The Law is a Ass" Installment # 144
Originally written as installment # 128 and published in Comics Buyer's Guide issue # 739, January 15, 1988 issue
At this point, another milestone in my column career was over. During the first years of my column I existed by writing monthly installments on "The Trial of the Flash" and The Vigilante. Well by this time in the column, early 1988, "The Trial of the Flash" was over. In fact The Flash had been cancelled to be replaced by a new Flash in a new The Flash comic; a comic whose star wasn't on trial for anything. And, will be noted in the column you're about to read, The Vigilante had been cancelled to be replaced by Checkmate. It was that first Checkmate story--pilot episode, as it were, in the pages of Action Comics # 598, which under discussion for today.
But things weren't all doom and gloom. As you'll see, if the pilot story for Checkmate were any indication of what was to come, I'd be set with column fodder for a few more months.
******
"The Law is a Ass"
Installment # 144
by
Bob Ingersoll
Were my eyes deceiving me? I couldn't have read what I thought I read; couldn't have seen what I thought I saw. They couldn't have done what I thought they had done.
They couldn't have committed murder.
I looked again; reread the comic in question. I wasn't wrong. I had, indeed, read what I thought I read. They had, indeed, committed murder.
But, maybe they hadn't committed murder. Maybe I remembered the definition of murder incorrectly. Maybe what I thought was murder was really something else.
I checked Ohio Revised Code 2903.01(A). Aggravated murder occurs when someone, "purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause[s] the death of another." I remembered the Ohio definition correctly. They committed aggravated murder.
Finally, desperate to find some way out of the growing certainty that they had committed murder, I grasped at one final straw. They didn't commit their acts in Ohio but in New York, where the New York Penal Code would apply. Maybe the New York Penal Code definition for murder is different.
N.Y.P.L. 125.25 says, "A person is guilty of murder in the second degree when: 1. With intent to cause the death of another person, he causes the death of such person or of a third person."
Nope, no significant difference. They committed murder in the second degree--punishable by twenty-five years to life.
There was simply no escape from this one simple fact: Checkmate, a secret governmental counter-terrorism group and the stars of DC Comics newest book--the good guys, if you will--was staffed and run by murderers.
And this was only in Action # 598, mind you. Checkmate doesn't even debut as a monthly title until next month. I can only wonder what the Checkmate team will do, when they have a title of their own.
For those of you who have not read Action # 598, or might not remember it, I will summarize. Khareemali--who's name sounds like an exotic seafood but who is really the Minister of Defense for Qurac--is in Metropolis to denounce Superman at a United Nations Conference. Why does he want to denounce Superman? Simple, Qurac is a Middle-Eastern country whose biggest export is oil and whose second biggest export is terrorists. (How does that line about any similarity between the story and real persons or events being strictly coincidental go? Qurac, only eight letters removed from Irac, is a hell of a coincidence, isn't it?). Anyway, several months ago our time--it was probably only half-an-hour ago DC time--Superman got fed up with Qurac's terrorist activities, flew into that country, and proceeded to dismantle its weapon capabilities. That' s why Khareemali is in town to denounce Superman. He killed Qurac's second biggest industry. Just imagine how Florida would feel, if Superman blew in and blighted the citrus crop. Well, that's how Qurac felt.
Checkmate, the super-secret government anti-terrorism agency soon to be the star of its own comic book, didn't particularly want Khareemali in town. Indeed, Checkmate wanted to kill the man and his operation. But Khareemali had diplomatic immunity, so they couldn't do anything about him or his visit. Moreover, if any harm befell ol' Khareemali, while he was on the shores of the U.S. of A, Qurac would blame the United States. An ugly international incident would follow.
Checkmate came up with an elegant solution to both problems.
They baby-sat Khareemali, while he was in the States to make sure nothing happened to him. They even went so far as to send one of their costumed agents to free Khareemali, after he had been kidnaped by The Jackal--an agent of some country engaged in a holy war against Qurac--then rushed Khareemali back to his personal plane. (The story didn't indicate what country was having the holy war with Qurac. Probably Quran.)
I think Checkmate went farther than just rescue the minister from a kidnaping. I think they set the kidnaping up. Follow.
Khareemali, his guards, and every other Quracan we've ever seen in a DC comic has had a decidedly grayish brown complexion, as they've all been playing in clay (probably the closest approximation that the standard four color process can come to middle Eastern skin colors). The Jackal and his henchmen were all white. White Anglo-Saxon Protestant white. Tuna fish on Wonder Bread with mayonnaise white.
I think Checkmate staged the kidnaping, then sent one of their men to foil it. That way, they had an excuse to rush Khareemali back to his plane, before he had a chance address the U.N., and guaranteed that Khareemali would be agreeable to the idea of an early departure. (I have no proof of this suspicion, mind you. It's just a suspicion which stems from the skin hues, the fact that the timing of the Jackal's raid is an even harder to swallow coincidence than the similarity between Qurac and some real life countries, and the fact that it seems like, "The U.S.A. gave it its all to protect the minister from harm, while he was a guest in our country," while it really got what it wanted--Khareemali out of the country fast. What do you think?)
But I digress. The Checkmate knight rushes Khareemali back to his private jet. Khareemali takes off rather hurriedly to return to Qurac. He never arrived.
Fifteen minutes after take-off--while the plane is over international waters--the Checkmate operatives of our story press a radio transmitter, and a bomb they had planted in the plane explodes both the plane and Mr. Khareemali.
Well, no, I didn't actually see anyone from Checkmate plant the bomb. So how do I know that they planted the bomb. Oh, little things which might not seem important, unless, like me, you've read every Agatha Christie and Ellery Queen mystery.
Little things. The fact that Checkmate even knew there was a bomb on the plane, that they happened to have a radio transmitter set to the exact frequency required to detonate the bomb, and that they intentionally waited until the plane was over international waters so that the United States would not be blamed. Either that, or it was another coincidence; a coincidence which makes the other coincidences--the one about Qurac and real life countries and the timing of Jackal's attack--pale to insignificance.
Occum's razor and I prefer the first explanation. For any writer to rely on so colossal a coincidence in his story would be an unconscionably uncreative act.
Let's review. What did Checkmate do? With the intention to cause the death of Minister Khareemali, Checkmate planted then detonated a bomb in his plane and did cause his death. That's all the elements of murder under both the Ohio and the New York statutes.
Even if Checkmate didn't plant the bomb, it still detonated the bomb. We have no doubts about that, because we saw Checkmate doing that. By detonating the bomb, irrespective of who planted it, Checkmate still purposely, and with prior calculation and design, caused Khareemali's death.
Like I said, Checkmate murdered Khareemali.
And that's what bothered me about the story. I don't mind heroes that kill, when it's necessary, such as to save a life or to give the villain a convenient way to disappear for a few issues until he's needed again to boost stales. However, I don't approve of heroes that murder. Murder is bad. To take a life--any life no matter how seemingly unworthy--cheapens all life. It is a thoroughly vile practice. Murder--the intentional taking of a life--is not something that should be condoned. For that reason, I have serious problems, when I see murder portrayed as a positive or activity or one worthy of emulation.
It tends to give people the wrong idea. Like, maybe the solution to that annyoing paper boy who insists on throwing the morning delivery in the prize azaleas is to dust him.
Now, before any of you slough off this murder or say, "Why's Ingersoll crying about someone acing some terrorist? After all, who cares about one less terrorist, more or less?" The answer, of course, that's irrelevant. Even though I agree that the death of a person like Khareemali--terrorist straw man that he was--is not exactly something that you or I or anyone could regret. However, whether or not anyone--including Khareemali--deserves to be murdered is a point I will debate, on the counterpoint side, at any time and in any forum.
But I don't even have to debate that point to prove how wrong--how truly evil--what Checkmate did really was. There are other factors about Checkmate's murdering Khareemali by blowing up his plane that must be considered.
Like: who was flying the plane?
Like: who was co-piloting the plane?
Like: who was navigating?
Like: who was serving the drinks?
Didn't think of them, did you? You should. The pilot, co-pilot, navigator, and flight attendant(s) were there. We may not have seen them, but you and I both know they were there. Khareemali was far too position- and status-conscious an individual to have undertaken a transatlantic flight without a crew to wait on his every need. Goldfinger had Pussy Galore. You can be sure the flight crew and flight attendants were there. And what happened to them, when Checkmate blew up Khareemali's plane?
They died.
They, too, were murdered by Checkmate.
And these persons--despite their unfortunate choice in travel companion (if they even had a choice)--were not terrorists. These persons were innocents, who did not deserve to be murdered.
According to this story, the governing committee of Checkmate-- the persons who murdered innocent pilots, co-pilots, navigators, and flight attendants-- includes Harry Stein and Harvey Bullock, late of The Vigilante comic.
Vigilante had this annoying tendency of killing innocents in his rampages. It seems that Vig's co-stars learned their lessons well.
Bob Ingersoll
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