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THE LAW IS A ASS for 07/23/2002
DOCKET ENTRY
"The Law is a Ass" Installment # 154
Originally written as installment # 283 and published in Comics Buyer's Guide issue # 283 in World Famous Comics July 23, 2002
Sometimes theyre just asking for it. Someone, somewhere writes something so bad it just cries out--nay demands--that I write about it.
This, as youve no doubt guessed, was one of those times.
******
THE LAW IS A ASS
Installment # 154
by
BOB INGERSOLL
Oh pleas, you expect me to believe this?
Before you "tsk" my spelling; were discussing guilty pleas. Puns are considered the lowest form of humor and lawyers the lowest form of life, I figured it was a natural lead-in.
First, however, I must issue a SPOILER WARNING. Hey, Stephanie Brown from Robin, if you continue your career as the Spoiler, youll get hurt. So do people who give away the endings to stories without warning. I dont want to get hurt, so, WARNING: Im giving away the ending to Catwoman # 79.
In Catwoman # 79, writer Brownwyn Carlton gave us a cat-tastrophe, from a legal point of view. (I warned you about the puns, too.) Catwoman is back in Gotham City, ready to loot it after its miracle rebuild. Yes, miracle. Gotham was destroyed top to bottom in an earthquake then abandoned by the federal government for a year and descended into anarchy. Now, scant weeks after the Feds came back, its up and running, business as usual with only the occasional crane in the background indicating some rebuilding might still be going on. Whoever engineered this feat of engineering is only a few "Wows!" short of canonization.
But, now that Gotham had stuff worth stealing again, the people whod want to steal it were back. Like Catwoman. Commissioner Gordon wanted to make a statement with Catwoman, wanted to show Gothams Police could do more than run up the citys electric bill flashing that spotlight for every stray jaywalker. He set a trap for Catwoman using Egyptian artifacts on display in the museum--including a statue of Bast, the Egyptian goddess with the body of a woman and the head of a cat--as bait.
Long story short: Catwoman was a moron, it worked. She waltzed into the museum knowing it was a trap. When the police descended, she ran over rooftops, jumping from building to building, but couldnt shake them. And she never thought to examine the statue to find the transmitter the police hid there to track her, until it was too late. Master criminal? Only in the same universe where Ronald McDonald is a master chef.
Later Catwoman met with her public defender, who thinks her case has an "obvious issue of entrapment." The only "obvious issue" here is practicing law without a license, because only someone who never attended law school could believe this case was entrapment.
Just because the cops set a trap and some criminal takes the bait does not entrapment make. Entrapment happens when the police cause someone who wasnt predisposed to commit a crime into committing a crime through outrageous conduct. Example: Undercover Prohibition agent asks someone for booze, is refused, asks again, is refused again, asks yet again and, finally, the person relents and buys the narc some booze. When this case went to the Supreme Court, it held the defendant wasnt predisposed to committing the crime and wouldnt have done it but for the repeated pressure of the police, so it was entrapment.
The key is: predisposed to crime. Putting out attractive bait to attract a career criminal isnt entrapment. Catwoman was predisposed to commit the crime. The police didnt instigate the crime, they only gave someone whod have committed a crime anyway an easy target.
Then, if this piece of bum legal advice werent enough to get the public defender disbarred, assuming he was barred, Catwomans lawyer induces her to plead guilty by lying to her. He says he can work out a plea bargain where Catwoman would do "little or no jail time." Catwoman leaps at this, because, she says, state prison would kill her. She enters a guilty plea on the promise that she wont go to state prison.
And is immediately sentenced to the Cinque Foundation Rehabilitative Center.
As shes led away kicking and screaming, her lawyer explains, its not a state prison, its a private facility. Big whoop. Mr. "Im Fighting For Your Rights." Hey, we have such private institutions in Ohio, too. Know what? We call them prisons. The lawyer knew what she was trying to avoid and knew what Cinque was like. Its got cells with bars, guards with guns, detainees with jump suits, and everything else an episode of Oz needs--including the shower room rape so de rigeur in every woman-in-prison story. Iron bars may not a prison make, but all that stuff does. Lets face it, Cinque waddles and quacks.
Which is why Catwomans guilty plea was invalid. Criminal defendants have a right to a trial. They can waive that right and plead guilty, but only if they make a knowing and intelligent waiver of the right. "Knowing and intelligent" means they have to know the consequences of their plea, so they can make an intelligent decision whether waive their trial rights and enter the plea.
Catwoman didnt. Her plea was predicated on the promise she wouldnt do time in a state prison. Sending her someplace thats identical to a prison except for who owns it violated the spirit of the promise. It was incumbent on Catwomans attorney to tell her where she was going, so she could make a knowing and intelligent decision whether she wanted to go there or take her chances on a trial.
Moreover, judges are required to make sure that defendants enter guilty pleas in a knowing manner. That includes telling the defendant what the consequences and penalties of their pleas will be. Usually, a judge only has to tell the defendant what the maximum penalty will be, but when a specific sentence is a part of the plea, the judge must make sure the defendant understands what that sentence is. Like telling the defendant shes not going to a state prison, as promised, but is going to a private institution thats like a prison in every meaningful way except who signs the guards paychecks. Anything less makes the plea as uninformed and unknowing as running from the police with bait and not checking it for bugs.
******
BOB INGERSOLL (P.O. Box 24314, Lyndhurst, OH 44124-0314 or law@wfcomics.com) wants to assure you that I may be a public defender, along with author of this column of legal analysis, but I would never lie to a client to induce a guilty plea. Not when hypnosis works so well.
Bob Ingersoll
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