The first named car I encountered was my friend Mark's car. I forget the make and model, but he called it FRED, an acronym for Freaking Ridiculously Expensive Device. This first car he had ever owned met its demise while he was driving from San Diego to Tacoma. It went off the road and took a few tumbles before coming to rest. Fortunately, Mark survived with only a few bruises.

About the time FRED died, I got my second car, a Toyota Tercel which I named YODA. That was partly because that's how many people pronounce the last two syllables of Toyota and partly because it, too, was an acronym: Your Own Dang Automobile.

Okay, I used stronger language than "Dang," just as Mark used stronger language than "Freaking," but one can't use that kind of language in CBG.

Two cars later, I had a Chrysler Laser. It was used, but it was fully loaded with every gadget conceivable at the time. It was charcoal grey and I had to call it...the Batmobile. Its fate was sealed when its transmission tore itself apart and the repair job would have cost more than the car was worth. I suspect this was the work of the Joker, that car-toon of crime.

My current car is...the MacMobile. It's a Ford Taurus named for the Macintosh computer that made it possible for me to buy it. So far, so good.

One other "named" car I know of used to belong to my brother Jeff. It was a red Ford Probe. Because of its name and color, I christened it with a nickname familiar to those who read stories of alien abduction, a nickname way too rude to share with the readers of your dignified column.

How about THE VAN OF BRONZE? I used that name for our Dodge Caravan until its wheels fell off. Another good possibility would be VINCENT VAN GOLD. Or, since it's a Mercury Monterey, you could call it MAX MERCURY, MASTER OF SPEED.

Since I have your attention, my current minivan is a dark blue Oldsmobile Silhouette which my wife and I named INDIGO VANTOYA. I long for the day I can put a sign on the passenger side dashboard that reads:

"Hello! My name is Indigo Vantoya. You filled my gas tank. Prepare to drive."

I grew up in California and was a teenager in the early 1950s. If you've seen the movie AMERICAN GRAFFITI, you've seen my youth. My first car was a 1940 pink Ford customized coupe called GOOFUS. My 1957 black Chevy Nomad was THE NOMAD and had that lettered on the back fenders along with striping, customizing, and gold flames on the hood and fenders.

I'm jumping around as I have owned 31 cars; most are what you would call "special interest cars." The car we bought for my wife when she earned her MBA was a new 1986 red Ford Taurus. We called it BOBBY'S GIRL, which is my name and also the first 45-rpm record my wife bought as a teenager.

Presently, our beloved Mazda MPV van is called SAGE for its green color. Our beautiful black 1988 Lincoln Mark VIII coupe is called ABE. Our two previous cars were a red 1997 Mustang called RED RIDER and a 2000 Ford Explorer named THE ENTERPRISE, although it should've been called THE EXPLODER. That last one was what you call a Monday car.

I've never told my family this, but I named each of my cars. The silver Pontiac 6000 was THE SILVER BANSHEE, the blue Pontiac Grand Am was THE BLUE DEVIL, and my current red Pontiac Sunfire is THE SCARLET SPEEDSTER. The only alternative name for your new van that comes to mind is THE GOLDEN GLIDER.

I'm an inveterate car-namer. It started with a bicycle named TRIGGER. I currently drive a 2000 GMC Safari van named THE MYSTERY MACHINE.

I think naming cars is most common among people who are less than "car nuts." In my house, that's my wife. I have a Mercedes 400E that she named OTTO when I bought it, but I've never called it that. Her cars have typically received temporary birth names, but have gotten their "real" names until part way into ownership. Her 1993 Jeep Cherokee became known as THE HEAP because, not only did pieces tend to routinely fall off, it went through four water pumps while we owned it.

The point of this note is that it's okay to live with THE BIG CHEESE for awhile. However, you need to wait for a few months for the car to reveal its true name.

I'm in the auto racing business; I write for a half-dozen auto racing and operate a website:

www.DirtAmericaOnline.com

A majority of race car drivers, from NASCAR down to local dirt track racing, routinely give their cars names. Many big-budgeted teams, even in dirt track racing, have multiple cars that carry special names, most with a story behind them.

On a personal note, I'm 47, and have owned 56 vehicles that have been registered with the State of Ohio. I named Cadillac El Dorado THE BROWN BEAUTY and it was! I had another white Cadillac El Dorado that I named...never mind. I'll just say that it started with a "B".

I have cars like the Ford Aerostar you put out to pasture. No matter how old they got, no matter how rough they looked, they kept running and running and running with only the occasional oil change and basic tune-up needed.