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Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"
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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
Call me a hound, but I just can't stay away from the Blonde Phantom, my favorite evening-gown-wearing crime-fighter. This is the incredibly loquacious cover of BLONDE PHANTOM #15 [Fall, 1947] and it's drawn by Syd Shores, who also pencilled the three BP tales found within. The editor was Stan Lee.
I'm not sure if you'll be able to read the big heaping gobs of copy on this cover, so here they are:
BP: Stop, Jenny! Put down that gun! You can't fix things with a bullet! Jenny, listen to me...don't do it...don't!
JENNY: I'll get that skunk! I'll give him what he deserves before he can do to other trusting girls what he did to me! I won't let him rob that poor kid in there---and don't try to stop me, I'm warning you!
SKUNK: Sure, baby---stick with me and I'll put your name in lights! I'll make you a star, baby, yes, sir, a star! Now lemme have the first payment to fix the deal!
CAPTION: Everybody wanted to kill him! And somebody did!!! But the Blonde Phantom and Mark Mason didn't dream that his death would bring them so close to the brink of disaster!
BURST: Don't miss this sensationally gripping tale of tangled lives! "The Man Who Deserved to Die!"
Was that much copy on a cover really an effective sales tool? In this, the cover is hardly unique among the Marvel/Atlas/Timely comics of the late 1940s and 1950s, so maybe their sales indicated that readers were attracted to wordy covers. Any comics historians out there want to weigh in on this?
The contents of this issue:
Blonde Phantom in "The Man Who Deserved To Die!" with inks by Vernon Henkel (10 pages);
BP in "I Hate Me!" with a script by Stan Lee and inks by Allen Simon (4 pages);
Sub-Mariner and Namora in "Death Deals in Stamps!" with art by John Fagaly (4 pages);
BP in "Glamour Can Be Fatal" with inks by Al Avison (8 pages); and,
"Hey, Look!" a one-page gag strip by Harvey Kurtzman.
Blonde Phantom is "the official pin-up girl" of TONY'S ONLINE TIPS, at least as long as I can find Blonde Phantom covers to run here. You can extend the madness by sending me your Blonde Phantom drawings or even cosplay photos of people dressed as the dear lady. When it comes to criminal-catching, the world desperately needs her sense of style!
Let's see what else I have for you today!
******
LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS
It's time for more LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS, wherein I attempt to review a bunch of comics as quickly as possible. Let's have at it, my friends.
TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #4 [Archie; $2.39] is a mix of new and reprinted stories with some of the latter being very different from the usual Archie fare. The new tales have Reggie role-playing as a jester at a Renaissance fair and teen fashion designer Ginger Lopez visiting her uncle's farm. The reprints give starring roles to other Riverdale teens, including Cheryl Blossom and her brother Jason. The "different" comes from Sabrina the Teenage Witch tales from the not-so-good period when her comic reflected the pre-teen Sabrina of her cartoon series and from the most welcome reprinting of some MADHOUSE material. Back in the day, MADHOUSE was a gentle version of MAD, always suitable for younger readers and often very clever. I hope we'll be seeing more of this material in upcoming digests. On the usual scale of zero to five, TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #4 earns three Tonys.
TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #4: 100 pages, color.
Writer Warren Ellis introduces us to the "Ultimate Universe" Captain Marvel in ULTIMATE SECRET #1-2 [Marvel; $2.99] and, much to my delight, the issues invoked in me a goofy nostalgia not unlike that I felt when Marvel introduced its Marvel Universe Mar-Vell in the 1960s. This Mahr Vell is a cocksure defector from the Kree who doesn't want his people to destroy the Earth. I want to thank the Captain for that; I rather like the Earth, even the dark Ultimates version thereof.
ULTIMATE SECRET is the middle series in a trilogy which seems to be leading to the introduction of the Ultimate Galactus. Ellis has a nice touch with Mahr Vell and Captain Carol Danvers, director of security at S.H.I.E.L.D. aerospace base. I liked both of these key characters from the get-go. The suspense builds nicely in the issues, the action is exciting, and the Steve McManus/Mark Morales art is first-rate.
ULTIMATE SECRET #1-2 earn four Tonys each.
ULTIMATE SECRET #1-2: 36 pages each, color.
I'll give credit to VAMPIRES UNLIMITED: SHADES OF THINGS TO COME #1 [Approbation; $2.99] for ambition. Apparently, writer and creator Bart A. Thompson has built an entire "mythos" - a word I'd love to see used sparingly - around his modern-day vampires hanging around clubs. Sadly, the promise of a vast back story does little to alleviate the many flaws of this debut issue.
The writing is adequate, but little more. The "F-bomb" drops so frequently one would think it had just been discovered. There is a great deal of gore, much of it gratuitous. A few characters might prove interesting, but they don't quite reach that level in this issue. The ending's just sort of there; nothing in it to make me eager to read the next issue.
Sidebar. I don't usually pick on poor proofreading, but I'm compelled by my crankiness to mention that people running from gang members are probably NOT trying to "loose" them.
The art is adequate with some good faces and figures here and there, but the storytelling - the panel-to-panel flow - serves the drawing and not the story. Add this to my lack of enthusiasm for the writing and the best I can give VAMPIRES UNLIMITED: SHAPES OF THINGS TO COME #1 is a single Tony.
VAMPIRES UNLIMITED: SHAPES #1: 36 pages, color.
The highlight of VERONICA #163 [Archie; $2.25] is "To Marcy With Love," an 11-page story which introduces Ronnie's shy cousin. In a story written and pencilled by Dan Parent, we learn that Marcy is a big fan of "Space Trek" and has a huge crush on the president of the show's local fan club. Devious romantic that she is, Ronnie offers to help her cousin land her fan.
Marcy made a good impression on me this first time out. Given how young ladies are becoming more and more interested in fantasy and sci-fi (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Kim Possible, etc.), Archie Comics might do well to consider featuring Marcy in future issues.
Also in this issue: Ginger Lopez guest-stars in "Stranded With Style;" Veronica starts a new trend in boyfriend relationships in "Flower Power," and inker Jim Amash does a fine job complimenting Parent's pencils. Thanks to all the above - and especially Cousin Marcy - VERONICA #163 picks up four Tonys.
VERONICA #163: 36 pages, color.
Zorro is one of the all-time great adventure characters. Don McGregor is a terrific, unique writer. That I hold these positions explains why I'm so terribly disappointed in ZORRO #1-2 [Papercutz; $2.95 each].
"Scars" picks up from the Zorro newspaper strip which ran for a few years and was also written by McGregor. Kudos to him for a seamless transition from comic strip to comic book. Unfortunately, this story has almost nothing of what I like best about Zorro. No fascinating feudal society. No evil authority figures breaking the backs and hearts of the common man, though we are told that Zorro's being pursued by a Captain Monasterio who, one would think, would have been happy to see Zorro depart from his town. No Zorro coming to the rescue of the villagers. In fact, no village whatsoever as Zorro and his lady friend travel what will someday be Yellowstone National Park. And no real swashbuckling.
Other problems:
Characters in these issues spend a great deal of time talking about their feelings in clumsy dueling monologues. I usually love McGregor's dialogue, but it's not working here.
I'm likewise not thrilled with the faux-manga art of Brazilian Sidney Lima. All of his characters look stunted, as if they were dwarfs. It's not a good look for Zorro.
I expect much better from Zorro and from McGregor. Though it truly pains me, ZORRO #1-2 get but two Tonys each.
ZORRO #1-2: 36 pages, color.
Watch for more LIGHTNING ROUND REVIEWS, coming very soon to a TOT near you.
******
COMICS IN THE COMICS
Chic Young's BLONDIE is celebrating its 75th anniversary next month with its title heroine and hubby Dagwood throwing themselves an anniversary party to which a number of other comics characters will be coming. The first revelations as to who's on their list of distinguished guests came on Saturday, August 19.
GARFIELD and his owner Jon got a hand-delivered invitation to the big party:
So did the cast of ROSE IS ROSE:
Those are the two related strips that I saw on Saturday. If you saw others, please send them my way. I'll share them with your fellow TOT readers.
One more for the road. Here's a kind of Garfield guest shot from MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM for August 2:
******
TONY POLLS
Every Tuesday, there's something new for you on my TONY POLLS page. Two weeks back, looking at TV's fall season, I asked you to choose which of the nineteen new drama or genre shows you were most looking forward to seeing.
Here's how you voted:
NIGHT STALKER (ABC).....31.58%
Invasion (ABC).....10.53%
Threshold (CBS).....9.47%
Commander-In-Chief (ABC).....8.42%
Bones (Fox).....6.32%
Criminal Minds (CBS).....5.26%
E-Ring (NBC).....5.26%
Prison Break (Fox).....5.26%
Supernatural (The WB).....5.26%
Surface (NBC).....5.26%
Close to Home (CBS).....2.11%
Ghost Whisperer (CBS).....1.05%
Head Cases (Fox).....1.05%
Inconceivable (NBC).....1.05%
Just Legal (The WB).....1.05%
Reunion (Fox).....1.05%
Gate (Fox).....0%
Related (The WB).....0%
Sex, Love, & Secrets (UPN).....0%
I didn't vote for the new Night Stalker show. Carl Kolchak, as originally conceived, was driven by his need to investigate and report on the horrors that lurk largely unseen in our world. His experience and the price he paid for that experience was evident in his face and manner in every scene. So now, in Hollywood's typical "fixing what wasn't broken," Kolchak is a young pretty boy driven by the death of his wife and his need to learn what really happened to her. Ho hum. Let me predict here and now that, just as in THE X-FILES, the "mythology" episodes will be boring and tedious...and that I may just end up rooting for the monsters of the week. They, at least, never overstay their welcome.
I voted for INVASION, even though it's likely to have its fair share of conspiracy/mythology episodes. Shaun Cassidy created the series and serves as executive producer. Cassidy earned all sorts of mad props from me with his AMERICAN GOTHIC series; I'm looking forward to seeing what he does here.
Today is your last full day to vote on the current TONY POLLS questions...which ask you to choose between DC and Marvel in a six-question "Battle of the Big Two." If you haven't already done so, you can cast your votes at:
www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll
Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
Tony Isabella
<< 08/19/2005 | 08/22/2005 | 08/23/2005 >>
Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.
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THE "TONY" SCALE
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Tony's Online Tips
840 Damon Drive
Medina, OH 44256
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