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Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"
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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Monday, May 5, 2008
My review of Cloverfield [Paramount; $29.99] boils down to this...
There was a better movie in Cloverfield than was put on the screen.
Everything else is just notes.
There wasn't a lot of enthusiasm around Casa Isabella to see this movie when it was in the theaters. Not even from your Kaiju-loving columnist. In my case, much as I love seeing giant monsters on a theatrical screen, the manner in which director Matt Reeves, producers J. J. Abrams and Bryan Burk, and writer Drew Goddard told their story - via the hand-held camera of one of the characters - gave me cause to pause. A few years back, I experienced several attacks of vertigo. Last year, my sky-high blood pressure messed with my vision. Rather than hope for the best while watching this herky-jerky Blair Kaiju Project, I decided to wait for the film to come out on DVD and watch it on my big-screen TV. If I experienced any discomfort, I could pause the film and come back to it when I was over said discomfort...and, yes, I do hate having to consider such things.
The movie's core concept is terrific. A giant monster attacks New York and we experience it through the viewpoints of this small group of characters. But telling this story through the hand-held camera diminished both the scope of the attack and the intimacy of the characters, which, from my viewpoint, is the polar opposite of what the movie was trying to accomplish.
Snarky sidebar. Producer Abrams has a penchant for confusion over clarity in his works. It's why I stopped watching Lost early in its second season. It's why I'm somewhat concerned about Abrams' upcoming Star Trek film, though there's no way I'll pass on a Trek movie featuring Shaun of the Dead and Harold (of Harold and Kumar) as Scotty and Sulu. End of snarky sidebar.
The efficiency of the video camera increased whenever it was convenient to the movie...and the size of the Blair Kaiju likewise changed as necessary. I also found myself questioning the size of the man-chomping parasites that fell off the monster; they seemed too large for what they were supposed to be.
Everywhere the heroes went, the monster was sure to follow. I could chalk this up to their incredibly bad luck and the beast's obvious panic, but the coincidences kept coming faster than I could willingly suspend my disbelief. Ironically, the one coincidence I could readily accept was the monster showing up at Central Park. If I were a frightened animal, I'd head for a part of New York that seemed less crazy than the streets and the skyscrapers and all the things shooting at me.
How about that military? They mobilized pretty fast, didn't they? Faster than I could believe without any indication they knew what was coming. If the monster fell to earth (or was awakened by a falling satellite) a month earlier than the events in the movie - something which is hinted at near the end of the film - it would've been plausible there were other encounters/incidents during those weeks and that the military was preparing for a worst case scenario of the monster attacking the city. But, of course, because of how the story was told, there was no sense of that.
Final notes.
The monster was pretty cool, but the human actors were merely adequate. The story was pretty good, but its presentation worked against it. Overall, the movie was worth watching, but it was far from being a classic of the genre.
The DVD is worth buying, but only if you can get it, as I did, for around half its list price. The DVD extras didn't appreciably increase my regard for the package.
Cloverfield earns three out of five Tonys.
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ADDENDUM
To quote Wikipedia:
At the premiere of the film, Matt Reeves talked about possibilities on how a sequel will turn out if the film succeeds. According to Reeves, "While we were on set making the film we talked about the possibilities and directions of how a sequel can go. The fun of this movie was that it might not have been the only movie being made that night, there might be another movie! In today's day and age of people filming their lives on their camera phones and Handycams, uploading it to YouTube...That was kind of exciting thinking about that."
While filming a sequel that essentially retells the original story is standard for Hollywood, I'm not at all enthusiastic about a Cloverfield sequel. Unless, maybe, the sequel goes right to its own parody:
Cloverfield: America's Funniest Monster Videos
My vision for the sequel would be to film it as a television show wherein contestants enter their videos of that fateful night - and other nights on which monsters invaded America - and compete for prizes. I see Bob Saget as the host.
Another possibility. Producer Bryan Burk said "The creative team has fleshed out an entire back story which, if we're lucky, we might get to explore in future films."
Would this be the same kind of luck that put the first movie's heroes in the monster's path wherever they went?
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MAD SCIENTIST
Martin Arlt's Mad Scientist #16 [$5] is now bigger and better than ever. The zine started out as a black-and-white, home-made digest zine, but has gotten more professional with each issue. This new issue [Fall, 2007] is magazine-size with full color covers - Don Marquez's She-Creature oil painting on the front cover; John Rozum's construction paper collage of Vampira on the back - and 48 monstrously fun interior pages.
Arlt does most of the writing himself. His contributions this issue are "Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero," a retrospective of the 1965 movie; "The A.I.P. Monsters of Paul Blaisdell," a terrific tribute to the visual creator of the She-Creature; "Doctor Who Season One," first in a new series of article; a "Vault of Comics" look at "The Monster in the Iron Mask" from Tales of Suspense #31 [July, 1962]; and the always-informative "Mad Scientist's Haunted Crypt of Reviews." Every one of these is a delight.
Other contributors include Allen Debus, who shares his fond memories of "The War That Time Forgot" from DC's Star Spangled War Comics; Rozum, on "The Biggest [Star Wars] Playset Kenner Never Made; and artists Dave Atkins, Pete Von Sholly, Mark Jiro Okui, and Chris Moreno. That adds up to a whole lot of cool stuff for your five bucks.
Mad Scientist #16 earns four Tonys.
For ordering info, visit the magazine online at:
www.geocities.com/madscie/madscientist.html
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KAIJU IN THE COMICS
"It's big and it's terrible!"
Your Tipster loves his giant monsters. So, when I see them in newspaper comic strips and comics panels and editorial cartoons, I save those appearances to share with you.
From Wikipedia:
"Brewster Rockit: Space Guy! is a satirical comic strip created by Tim Rickard. Featuring the character Brewster Rockit as the captain of a space station named "R.U. Sirius", it parodies the plots of movies and books from the science fiction genre. The comic first debuted on the online magazine Scifidimensions on July 5, 2004. The comic is nationally syndicated by Tribune Media Services."
Rickard did his own take on Cloverfield and TOT reader Tom Duffy sent me the strips from February 4-8:
Look for the rest of the sequence in tomorrow's TOT. And come back all week long for more Kaiju in the Comics.
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THE T FILES
Digging through my musty old files, I found this item from the "Earthweek" column for August 21, 2004:
Huge Mutant Ant Colony
Australian scientists announced the discovery of a huge Argentine ant colony that stretches for more than 60 miles beneath the city of Melbourne. Monash University researcher Elissa Suhr said the pests' natural aggression toward each other had kept them at bay after they first arrived in 1949, but mutation has since allowed them to live in one huge colony instead of a network of much smaller, warring ones. "In Argentina, their native homeland, ant colonies span tens of meters (yards), are generally diverse and highly aggressive towards one another," Suhr said. She added Argentine ants are ranked among the world's 100 worst natural invaders, and they threaten the local biodiversity of southeast Australia.
I find this incredible.
Not the news item.
What I find incredible is that this hasn't turned up on TV as a Sci-Fi Channel original movie. It's a natural!
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TIP THE TIPSTER
Tony's Online Tips is a reader-sponsored feature, made possible through your "Tip The Tipster" donations. Today's column and eleven more like it are being brought to you by a reader whose donation was the second-largest in TOT's history...and I thank him for his incredibly generous support. Thanks to readers like him, we're funded for the next three weeks. If you'd like to contribute and keep TOT running, click on the "Tip The Tipster" link you'll find elsewhere on this page.
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TONY POLLS
New Tony Polls questions will post tomorrow morning, so today is your last chance to vote on our current "summer movies" questions.
This summer, which, by Hollywood time, has already started, will see the release of nearly two dozen films featuring super-heroes or other elements of fantasy, horror, science fiction, and good old pulp adventure. Last week's questions list twenty such films and ask your first, second, and third choices for those you would most like to see.
You can cast your votes by going here:
www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll
Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
Tony Isabella
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THE "TONY" SCALE
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Tony's Online Tips
840 Damon Drive
Medina, OH 44256
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