Button Men

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Here's an excellent write-up of several Japanese Beetle characters for Cheapass Games' Button Men game. Thanks to loyal reader Bayani Caes for wasting his precious time on the conversion, even though I had the difficult job -- illustrating the buttons!

Rules for the Dodge Die: The Japanese Beetle has a Dodge Die, represented by a "D." This die acts like a swing die, but may not be a 4 nor a 20 sided die. However, when your opponent attempts to capture this die, you may attempt to dodge. When your opponent declares that he is trying to capture the dodge die, reroll the dodge die. If the number now showing is smaller than it was when the attack was declared, the attack fails. Your opponent now has the option of rerolling the die or dice that were involved in the attack. If the dodge fails, then the die is captured as usual.

The Japanese Beetle

College student Ken Watanabe became a superhero to pick up chicks. He doesn't really fight for truth, justice, and the American way, but he likes to pretend that he does. He's really not all that good at it. One of these days he might acquire some real superpowers or something. And he doesn't like getting beat up.

The Flying Squirrel

Endowed with the proportionate strength, speed, and cheek space of a North American gray squirrel, the Flying Squirrel is truly an opponent to be feared. He lives in the woods with his army of evil squirrels, where he plots the downfall of all civilization. And he likes to beat people up.

Joe McCarthy

Joe McCarthy never really died - he was frozen in the late 1950s by the CIA! Now, whenever the grim spectre of Communism casts its dark shadow across the land, he gets thawed out to oppose it. And he likes to beat people up.

Kremlina Stalinova

A former KGB agent, Kremlina plots and schemes to return her vile Communist masters to their former glory. With her Monsters of Socialism, she fights for untruth, injustice, and the liberation of the global proletariat through the overthrow of their bourgeoise masters. And she likes to beat people up.

Max Factor

Tired of his vapid job as a college dean, Max Witter channeled his energies into perfecting the ultimate hairstyle. Then, one day, he discovered his superlative coiffure could stop bullets. Now he fights to put an end to evil, injustice, and split ends. And he tries to beat people up.

The Frenchman

This ethnically-confused restaurateur harbors a deep-seated hatred of all mankind. From his secret lair in T.G.I.Frenchy's, he creates legions of zombie slaves with his mind-altering Peruvian Insanity Salsa and dreams of taking over the world. And he likes to beat people up.