Story Guide

Okay, it may not be finished yet, but here's the start of our soon-to-be complete Japanese Beetle episode guide! It's not quite complete, but we'll be adding our latest stories just as soon as we get a chance!

#01: In The Beginning
On the far-off planet Argon, the earthquakes begin... Now if only this had anything to do with our story.

#02: Enter The Frenchman
Considered by many to be the most groundbreaking battle to ever take place in a Mexican restaurant, "Enter the Frenchman" pits our hero against a culinary mastermind bent on world domination through salsa. Complete with zombies, zany ethnic humor and a cataclysmic explosion, "Enter the Frenchman" offers literally minutes of reading entertainment.

#03: The Monsters of Socialism
In a story ripped from the headlines of yesterday's papers, a brazen lot of communists attempt to seize control of Thornton Mellon University, beginning with one of Ken Watanabe's revisionist history classes. Can Ken fend off these pinkos on his own?

#04: Into The Woods
Ken and his naturalist neighbor, George Gorge, take a stroll through the woods and through the heart of fear! Well, not exactly. Not at all, in fact. They meet a squirrel-themed supervillain, whose only purpose in life is to destroy the Japanese Beetle. Hmm... That's not very scary. We must've been drunk when we wrote this.

#05: The Deadliest Game
No measure of superhero training can prepare a man for the dating game, and Ken Watanabe is as ill-prepared as they get. Watch as our fearless hero meets, wines, dines and alienates a woman, all with the skill of feckless Eurotrash.

#06: Furblymania
Ken tries to wow Asashi by getting her the hottest Christmas present of the season. At the last second, in a crowded mall, surrounded by panicky shoppers. If that isn't a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is.

#07: Origin-A-Go-Go!
Relive the stirring origin of the Japanese Beetle! See how he rose from obscurity to become the media superstar he is today!

#08: Salty Dogs
Though the Spanish Main is pretty calm these days, a few salty dogs still sail the high seas, with a nefarious plan involving a giant whalemarine, blackmail, and a large quantity of, well, you'll see. It'll take more than one hero to save this day...

#09: The New Order Of Women
All the ladies in the house say hey! We're sensitive here at the JB - we don't think of feminists as a bunch of butch, hairy-lipped manshees. We think of them as butch, hairy-lipped manshees in wrestling T-shirts. Huzzah! Will the NOW crush the male populace of Skyline City? Or will the Y chromozome prevail?

#10: Not Dead Yet
What do you do when your landlord thinks your dead, and rents out your apartment to new tenants? You go and live in the storage lockers in the basement - that's what you do!

#11: A Long Winter's Nap
It's spring again, and evil raises it's sleepy head... Only to discover it's been evicted! How will the Flying Squirrel cope with life in the big city?

#12: Fortune Cookie
Can Ken actually get through an entire date with Asashi, or will his heroic instincts get the better of him? And what the heck is the story with all these chinese guys in trench coats?

#13: Take Me Out To The Ballgame
Love hurts, but cheering for the Skyline City Scrapers hurts more. To get Ken out of a post-breakup funk, Ken's friends drag him to a baseball game. Unfortunately he decides to cope with his grief by hijacking stadium equipment and assaulting players. We should all cope so well.

#14: The Doomsday Device
You know how it is: you miss a few tuition payments, you skip 90 percent of your classes, and the school starts copping an attitude. But at Thorton Mellon University, the workstudy assignments are more - much more - than meets the eye. Enjoy this delightful tale of robots, ribaldry, and world domination

#15: Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Why do unto others at all, when you could have a robot do it for you? Ken puts his mind to work for a change and builds some metal men to do his dirty work. His plan backfires, however, when the robots run amok and start helping orphans everywhere! The horror!

#16: T.G.I.Frenchy's
What do you do when your plain to conquer the world with a chain of ethnic-food restaurants fails? You slap crap on the walls and turn them into family restaurants! Featuring the long-awaited return of the Frenchman!

#17: ExCon'99
What if they threw a convention, and nobody came? Better yet, what if supervillains threw a convention, and everyone came? And what if one supervillain (who is in no way ripped off from Batman, we swear) decided to rob the other supervillains and run off with their stuff? Huh? What then?

#18: Takin' Care Of Business
What do you do when a p.o.'ed alien figures out that you've stolen his life, and tries to take it back? You run like a coward and hope to god the writer has a deus ex machina or two left, that's what you do!

#19: If I Ruled The World
Thornton Mellon University's dean is missing... So Ken steps in to fill his shoes! Will the changes he makes to the university be for the best, or will he wind up ruining higher education for everyone?

#20: To Protect And Serve
Ken tries to get deputized by the city's police department, only to discover that being an officer of the law isn't all it's cracked up to be...

#21: The Spy Who Loathed Me
What do the Joe McCarthy, Qui Gong, Star Search, the Gong Show, Monsters of Socialism, space station Mir and the Mao Zedong Thought Propaganda Team have in common? Damned if I know, but they're all in this story somewhere!

#22: Seven
Who wants to beat a billionaire? The Flying Squirrel does! Watch as he goes head-to-head with seven other supervillains for $7,000,000 in the ultimate game show!

#23: Armageddon
It's New Year's Eve, 1999 and Mr. Mortimer is getting ready for the end of the world...

#24: Shipwrecked
The Japanese Beetle and Kremlina fight for survival on an inflatable life raft, in a gripping story to rival any ever printed in, say, Reader's Digest. Farley Mowat, eat your heart out.

#25: Frito-Lay Presents: Ken
Desperate for cash, the Japanese Beetle sells out to the highest bidder. And just a note to any major corporations out there, we'd be perfectly willing to sell out ourselves for the right price. Just a thought.

#26: The Most Dangerous Game II
Ken decides to make Asashi jealous by dating her roommate. Unfortunately, that strategy backfires when Asashi turns it into a double-date with an underwear model/investment banker...

#27: This Modern World
We take a break from your regularly scheduled Japanese Beetle cartoon to present an insightful look at the American prison system. It's not as dull as it sounds, we swear.

#28: I Scream, You Scream
Skyline City is under seige by Multifacet, the Neapolitan Man, and it's up to Ken to stop him.

#29: Hey, Big Spender
Join Ken Watanabe as he carefully ponders the two sweetest words in the English language: Expense Account.

#30: Adventures in Capitalism
Why go on a crime spree when you can pay someone else to do it for you? The Flying Squirrel shakes the Invisible Hand.

#31: A Night at Maude's
Where everybody knows your name, profession and communicable diseases.

#32: Stop the Presses
After facing hell-beasts, lunatics, fanatical armies and reincarnated Communist despots, the Japanese Beetle faces his most dangerous foe: THE MEDIA! Oh, and a 100-foot Steve Case.

#33: Batter Up
Cheating, lying, deceiving, sex, intrigue, and political refugees. Yes, it's a children's softball league!

#34: NRA Café
Bang bang, you're fed.

#35: Napster Pirates
On the high seas of information, a bold band of gallant warriors struggles to liberate intellectual property for the good of mankind -- Oh, wait they're just a bunch of cheap wankers.

#36: Knock-Knock-Knockin' on Heaven's Door
For the ultimate crime, we must pay the ultimate price -- that others might NEVER JAYWALK AGAIN!

#37: The Best Fourth of July Ever
Kremlina's got big plans for the Fourth of July... like blowing up the city! Will Joe McCarthy let her get away with it?

#38: Young Heroes In Love
Romance blossoms, thanks to light conversation, a little coffee, a beautiful moonlight evening... Did I mention the vodka? Lots of vokda is involved too. Oh, and Ken & Kremlina get it on.

#39: A Dark Horse Candidate
The Flying Squirrel and Doc Ness throw a monkey wrench into our electoral politics...

#40: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
Probably not.

#41: Hitting the Stump
The Flying Squirrel and the Evilcrats take their show on the road. But is Hypnotron turning out to be more than they can handle?

#42: Kyokaiju Kougeki!
He's come to Earth to chew gum and kick ass - and he's all outta gum! Make way for Space Monster Booyah!

#43: MEAT is Murder
It's the Japanese Beetle vs. the Militia for Ethical Animal Treatment! Quick, let's pelt him with our bricks of love!

#44: Modern Sexathlon
George Gorge and Max Factor head down to Sydney to participate in a rather unusual olympic event.

#45: Who Wants To Be President?
The American public - hypnotized? Hypnotron - out of control? The Japanese Beetle - totally out of the loop? The Beetle and the Squirrel must team up to take down an out of control hypnotron in the senses-shattering conclusion to a story four months in the making! Who will live? Who will die? Who will kiss eight bucks goodbye? Read on to find out!

#46: Monopoly
Sarah tries to teach Kremlina about capitalism.

#47: His Biggest Fan
The Japanese Beetle meets his biggest fan - an eight year old girl.

#48: Vermont's Worst
The Monopulley corporation makes Multifacet the C.E.O. of Steve & Edie's Ice Cream! What is the horrible secret of "Chocolate Diarrhea Surprise?"

#49: 7 Shopping Days Left To Save The Earth
It's Christmas again, and Kremlina's having a hard time finding an appropriate gift for Ken. Which shows her contempt for him better - the Big Mouth Billy Bass or the dancing Coke can? You make the call!

#50: Ravisher of Worlds
Tremble before the might of Throcknar! Sure, he may only be three apples tall, but he packs a lot of firepower...

#51: Armageddon A-Go-Go
It's the actual end of the millennium -- and Mr. Mortimer and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are ready this time!

#52: Black and White and Red All Over
The city's children are on the march to end capitalist oppression! Can the Japanese Beetle stop the terrifying panda twins from spreading Mao Zedong Thought?

#53: USDA Prime Cut
From his secret headquarters in France, the Frenchman unleashes the deadliest disease ever - Passive Aggressive Cow Disease!

#54: Pure Subcutaneous Destructicity
An immovable object - an irresistable force - a thesaurus that walks like a man! Can the Skyline City P.D. stop the terror of pure, subcutaneous Destructicity?

#55: Spring Training
The Sperm Pirates join the Pittsburgh Pirates. 'Nuff said.

#56: It Conquered The World
They came from the skies... to bring us wuv! Can society withstand the sinister assault of the Huggawumps?

#57: Truly Pathetic
Why get a real girlfriend when you can buy one from Sony? The strips that pissed off a thousand Megatokyo readers.

#58: Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas
Why are ninjas after Skyline City's mayor? Um, because they're easy to draw?

#59: The Dweller in the Closet
Fired from his job, Ken goes off the deep end. He decides to start a utopian society in his closet - but is he alone in there? Guest starring Monster Hunter X!

#60: I Think I'll Have Myself A Beer
Homeless, jobless and soon to be dateless, Ken turns to the bottle. The most touching tribute to alcoholism since Iron Man was fat, bald, and broke in the '80s.

#61: Putting It All Back Together
After hitting rock bottom, the Japanese Beetle goes to put his life back together with a little help from his friends.

#62: ARF! ARF!
Vegeterrorists have poisoned the city's water supply - can the Japanese Beetle stop the dread spectre of veganism from threatening the city?

#63: One Year Later
The Japanese Beetle and Kremlina celebrate a year of being together.

#64: Revolving Door
The Jaywalker is back on the streets - and more dangerous than ever! In color!

#65: Our World At War
A planet-eating monster threatens the universe - can the Japanese Beetle and an all-star cast of the world's greatest superheroes stop it? A confusing parody of a confusing comic which you probably didn't read!

#66: Getting the Band Back Together
Someone's assembling a new Monsters of Socialism - but why? Who knows? Maybe we'll never find out, as this story was ultimately interrupted by...

#67: Aftermath
...the Japanese Beetle flounders without purpose after the World Trade Center attacks, and Kremlina turns herself over to the Feds for her previous crimes.

#68: You're Watching Fox
The Flying Squirrel sinks to a new low - he reinvents himself as a TV pundit and gets his own show on Fox News.

#69: Tartarus 13
Ken goes to break Kremlina out of prison - but does she want to leave? All that, and the villainy of Hell Kitty, too!

#70: JB2: The Japanese Beetle Strikes Back
In a world ruled by indifferent autocrats, only one man has what it takes to stand up for freedom, justice, and decency. Now if only that man wasn't the Japanese Beetle. Another confusing parody of a comic you've never read.