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THE LAW IS A ASS for 04/16/2002
DOCKET ENTRY
"The Law is a Ass" Installment # 140
Originally written as installment # 288 and published in Comics Buyer's Guide issue # 1475, February 22, 2002 issue
I think the opening sentence says it all, the final installment of the four-part series covering "Playing to the Camera" Daredevil # 20-25. A truly amazing story arc; just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it surpassed itself. But why tell you? Go on and read it for yourself.
******
THE LAW IS A ASS
Installment # 140
by
BOB INGERSOLL
If this were a horse race, instead of the latest installment of my analysis of Bob Gale's story from Daredevil # 20-25, we'd be in the home stretch. Of course, if this were a horse race, we'd also be hoping we had a field of "mudders" because this story arc was a muddy, muddled mess from beginning to end.
Said beginning came when Samuel Griggs hired Matt Murdock to sue Daredevil for damage done to Griggs's greenhouse during a fight between DD and some ninjas. An auspicious beginning, considering Matt Murdock, as the secret identity of Daredevil, agreed to commit the incredibly unethical act of suing himself. Auspicious for me anyway, you read something like this and you just know there's going to be a column in it.
After five issues, the story accomplished three things. It's gave me several columns; set up the big courtroom scene I'll be getting to soon; and had Daredevil--with reasoning worthy of Sherlock Holmes, or Slylock Fox, anyway--deduce from a clue first seen in the movie Z, that Griggs's psychiatrist, Arnold Quaid, implanted false memories in Griggs. That's why Griggs believed DD trashed his greenhouse, when DD was nowhere near the place.
Now comes the moment we've all been waiting for and wondering about: how was Matt going to cross-examine himself? By cheating. Matt's partner, Foggy Nelson, cross-examined "Daredevil" but "Daredevil" wasn't Daredevil. It was Spider-Man pretending to be Daredevil.
It's brilliant. Spidey says when he's "in this costume," his name is Daredevil. He truthfully testifies that he never met Griggs or damaged his greenhouse, so it must have been someone else in a Daredevil costume. It's ingenious. It's inspired.
It's ... illegal.
The answer, when I'm in this costume my name is Daredevil is a half-truth. It gives the false impression that the real Daredevil is testifying, when that's not the case. When Brent Spiner was in costume he wasn't John Adams, he was an actor playing Adams on Broadway. In the same way, Spider-Man wasn't Daredevil, but someone pretending to be him. Testimony that implied otherwise constituted perjury.
By foisting Spider-Man off as the real Daredevil, Matt committed a fraud on the court. But only a little one. The bigger one came one page later, when Matt came bursting into the courtroom with the cliched announcement that he had startling new evidence that had only just come to light. He got a mysterious call to be on Times Square that morning. His investigator went there and videotaped Daredevil swinging around at the exact same time Daredevil was testifying. If there is more than one person in a Daredevil costume swinging around town, how can they be sure who's the real Daredevil?
Trouble is, Matt knows there weren't two people running around in Daredevil costumes. He was the Daredevil in Times Square. The only imposter was the one he had palmed off on the court for the purposes of this trial. For him to construct false evidence by creating a Daredevil imposter who didn't exist so he could argue that maybe it was the other Daredevil who damaged Griggs's greenhouse was a fraud on the court and was even more unethical than suing himself.
The amazing thing is, Matt's fraud didn't decide the case, because an even bigger fraud came crashing through one of those picture windows found in fictional courtrooms but I've never seen in any real courtroom. Someone named Terrence Hillman and wearing a Daredevil costume announces he's the real Daredevil, he damaged Griggs's greenhouse, he'll pay for the damage, and the Daredevil on trial is the hand-picked replacement he's training, so he can retire. The court has no choice to declare a mistrial. Well, it has a choice, but it declares one anyway. After all, Griggs is getting money and apology, so he's happy. And the story's finally ending, so we're happy.
It leaves only two questions. Who is Terrence Hillman and who is Arnold Quaid?
Who's Hillman? A failed actor looking to impress his girlfriend and set himself up with a sweet gig making personal appearances as "The Former Daredevil." Who's Hillman? A character clumsily introduced in the last chapter and created specifically to get Daredevil out of trouble. I'd call Hillman a deus ex machina, but I'd hate to imply there was anything godlike about him.
Who was Terrence Hillman? A really stupid idea, that's who.
As for who was Arnold Quaid, that question was answered when Quaid invited Daredevil to his office and revealed himself to be Maynard Tiboldt, the Ringmaster. Seems Ringmaster set up this whole scheme to test a new memory implanting technology he'd developed and now that it's passed, he'll use it in a larger criminal scheme later on.
Which shows Tiboldt is an idiot. If I wanted to test a false memory implanting technology I'd make the television reviewer for the New York Times remember Emeril as a good show. It would prove the effectiveness of the technology but without tipping off the super-heroes about my technology. Tiboldt's plan, which did tip off the super-heroes, was about as stupid as giving a newspaper interview that reveals you "sort of have a problem seeing through lead" or renaming yourself Powerless-Against-Yellow Lantern.
Still, I guess Tiboldt could afford to be stupid, considering Daredevil was even more stupid. Even though Tiboldt admitted what he had done, Daredevil let him go, because, "there's no law against implanting false memories." True. But there is a law against causing physiological impairment to another, such as false memories. It's called assault. And there's also a law or two against implanting false memories in a person so he'll sue someone else and collect money under false pretenses. It's called fraud and theft. Sure, it would be Daredevil's word against the Ringmaster's, but who's the jury going to believe, DD or a nine-time loser like the Ringmaster?
Actually, forget I asked. They might try to answer in a sequel.
Bob Ingersoll
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