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Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"
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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Monday, February 14, 2005
It's Valentine's Day...and I'm betting we're gonna see a whole lot of old romance comics covers on our favorite comics websites. You would have seen one on this website as well, had I not stumbled across the above card.
It comes to you via CAP'N WACKY'S BOATLOAD OF LOVE's gallery of unfortunate Valentine's Day cards. I was especially amused by the Captain's commentary on this card:
Hello, I'm Batman. When I was just a child, my parents were murdered right in front of my eyes. I made a solemn vow that day to commit my life to fighting crime. I've sacrificed my childhood and any efforts toward personal enjoyment. My nights are spent in deadly combat with everything from common street thugs to grotesque psychopaths. What little sleep I ever get is usually interrupted by horrible nightmares and my waking up soaked in sweat. I fight a war that can never be won. I strive toward a goal that can never be reached. I am haunted. I am relentless. I am tortured.
Won't you be my valentine?
You can see more unfortunate cards at:
www.capnwacky.com/valentines
With TOT's holiday obligation thus met, let's see what else I have for you today.
******
GREEN LANTERN: SLEEPERS
So ibooks sends me this review copy of GREEN LANTERN: SLEEPERS BOOK TWO, which looks interesting but is not BOOK ONE. Luckily, I have a Barnes and Noble gift card heating up my wallet. A little online magic and BOOK ONE is on its way to me.
SLEEPERS BOOK ONE ($22.95) is by Christopher Priest and Mike Baron. I've some idea who wrote what - scenes which remind me of one or the other - but what's important to me and, presumably, to my readers is the final collaborative effort.
Here's the bare bones summary:
Kyle Rayner is Green Lantern. He wants to marry Jenny-Lynn, his girlfriend and also the super-heroine Jade. His relationships with her and her father - Alan Scott, also Green Lantern, though I think he might call himself Sentinel in the comics. The Qwardians, evil creeps from an anti-matter universe, create a new Sinestro by downloading his memories and anti-GL mind-set into an innocent man whose only "crime" prior to this is his attraction to Jenny-Lynn. The Qwardians capture GL and Jade and begin to launch an invasion of our universe. The odds are against Kyle, what with most of the Justice League out of reach. That kind of convenient coincidence didn't bother me back in the day - 1960s - so I decided not to let it bother me here. The story's the thing.
This story starts out slowly and painfully. The slowly comes from the writers taking an awful long time to get to anything that resembles exciting action. It's not until the Qwardians snatch up Jade that things get interesting on the action front. The painful comes from Kyle, Jenny, and Alan all being fairly unlikeable folks for the first half of the novel. However, I should note, that, as much as I might have disliked the characters, their confrontations and problems rang very true. That's good writing.
The second half of the novel is a thriller. The descriptions of the Qwardian universe and the Qwardians' torture of Kyle Rayner are downright unsettling. Kyle's and Jenny's final battle with the transformed earthman is a page-turner. The guest shots of Plastic Man, Black Canary, and the Hal Jordan Spectre all work well in the context of the overall story. Good stuff. Still, I can't ignore the leaden first half.
GREEN LANTERN: SLEEPERS BOOK ONE gets three out of five Tonys.
I have started reading the second book, which stars Alan Scott, and it's gotten off to a much better start. The only connection to the first novel seems to be more duplicates of Sinestro's ring in the hands of a power-hungry madman, but I'll be able to judge that more accurately after I finish reading the novel. Watch for my review in a near-future TOT.
******
Due to illness - the flu from Hell - I'm forced to close this column here. I'll be back as soon as possible.
Tony Isabella
<< 02/11/2005 | 02/14/2005 | 02/21/2005 >>
Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.
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THE "TONY" SCALE
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Tony's Online Tips
840 Damon Drive
Medina, OH 44256
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