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Reviews and commentary by Tony Isabella
"America's Most Beloved Comic-Book Writer & Columnist"
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TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
for Monday, February 21, 2005
Stay right there. That's close enough.
I'll need to see some identification before you start reading this column...and you'll need to sign a release absolving TOT from any flu symptoms you might experience afterwards. That damn-fool Congress protected its corporate masters from class-action suits, but you know they won't have *my* back.
Getting to business...
I have been down with the flu and other ailments for about a week now. My days have consisted of dragging my sickly butt around and doing what I absolutely had to do and precious little beyond that. This has made hash of my work schedule and, if I owe you a response or something, I beg your continued patience. I'll either get better or die.
Either one clears my schedule.
During this week of malady and medication-spawned dementia, I have been getting in touch with my inner Burt Gummer. If I have to tell you who Burt Gummer is - besides the guy in the photo above - than I have failed in my decades-long efforts to acquaint you with the best of pop culture. I bow my head in shame.
Careful there. I didn't bow my head so low I couldn't see you trying to inch forward. Slide that release form towards me slowly. Yeah, it seems to be in order. You answered all the questions just like I asked. You moron.
Is that how our founding fathers raised you?
To give up your personal freedoms and information whenever a person of authority or pseudo-authority asks for them?
To comply without questioning their authority or their need for the information?
You are pathetic sheep. Haven't you learned by now that it's the likes of you who get eaten by the graboids?
And Washington is the graboid capital of the world.
My work is so clearly cut out for me.
While I prepare your future lesson plans, let's see what else I have for you today.
******
COMICS I NEVER KNEW
Hardly an online day goes by when I don't come across a cover or a mention of a comic book I never knew existed. The latest was Dell's ANDY HARDY, which ran for six issues in the 1950s, the first four issues as part of the publisher's catch-all FOUR COLOR series. Presumably based on MGM's long-running movie series starring Mickey Rooney, the comic books don't appear to portray the title character as looking anything like Rooney. There could be any number of good reasons for that, including an inability or unwillingness to shell out for the actor's likeness rights.
Some quick online research refreshed my memories of the ANDY HARDY movies, most of which I've seen:
The Andy Hardy series of films from MGM is said to be the most successful and most popular series of films ever made in the USA. There are a total of sixteen films, beginning with A FAMILY AFFAIR (1937) and ending with ANDY HARDY COMES HOME (1958). Technically, these two films weren't really a part of the series.
The series actually began with YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE (1938) and ended with LOVE LAUGHS AT ANDY HARDY (1946). The first film, A FAMILY AFFAIR wasn't intended to be the beginning of a series, but proved so popular that it launched the series. Released in 1937, it was based on a play entitled "Skidding" by Aurania Rouverol. The main characters in the series are based on her play.
ANDY HARDY COMES HOME - the last film - was a sort of reunion, made a dozen years after the true final installment.
I have never read or seen an issue of ANDY HARDY, though any of you who wish to send me copies of them should feel absolutely welcome to do so.
These covers have an appealing and friendly look to them; I'd be curious to see what the stories are like.
Keep watching TONY'S ONLINE TIPS for more comic books I never heard of. One personal resource of which I seem to have an endless supply is ignorance.
******
NYPD BLUE
For years now, ever since mastering my VCR, NYPD BLUE has been one of the very few TV shows I tried to watch "live." I had high hopes even before BLUE debuted in September, 1993. Steven Bochco's earlier HILL STREET BLUES was perhaps my favorite TV series of all time and this new series seemed to be a follow-up to that classic, even to starring Dennis Franz. I'd no idea that, in many ways, the new show would be even better.
HILL STREET BLUES couldn't be beat for grit and realism. With its large cast of characters, bosses, detectives, street cops, and lawyers, any one of whom could take center stage for a major story development, and its raw look of a precinct perpetually on the edge of chaos, even the most outrageous events seemed to be torn from the headlines. The series was a major influence on my second Black Lightning series from DC Comics.
NYPD BLUE couldn't match the rawness or realism of HILL STREET BLUES. Its cast was too intimate, its house too tidy. But it gave us great characters and great stories and, while I'm delighted to see it go out on a high note - the current/twelfth/final season is one of its best - it won't be easy watching the final fade to black on Tuesday, March 1.
NYPD BLUE helped define my concept of "quality television." I'll be writing about the series again after the last episode airs, but, for today, we go back to the beginning.
A little while ago, during an extended illness, I watched NYPD BLUE: SEASON ONE [List price: $39.99] on DVD. I'd not seen some of these 22 episodes since their first airings.
The accepted series history is that NYPD BLUE is the story of Andy Sipowicz, his quest for redemption and to become a better man. Over the show's run, that notion has achieved credibility, but the first season focused more on David Caruso's John Kelly.
Bochco and the writers gave Caruso plenty of material to work with, not all of it worth the effort. Sherry Springfield, playing Kelly's ex-wife, is spectacularly awful in the role. There was no chemistry between her and Caruso and she was a drag on nearly every story involving her. She left a few episodes before the end of the first season and no one noticed.
I can see why Caruso and Hollywood both thought the actor was meant for big-screen stardom. He had some outstanding episodes in this season before the behind-the-scenes tensions got in the way of the work. His wary friendship with a haunted David Schwimmer ("4B or Not 4B") and his assuming a mentor's status with young detective Nicholas Turturro are high points of the year, his various romantic entanglements not so much. I often wonder where NYPD BLUE would've gone if Caruso had stayed with the show.
Digression. Though his Horatio Caine character on CSI MIAMI might be too noble and square-jawed to be as believable as his John Kelly, Caruso is wonderfully entertaining on the series. Sometimes you just want to kick back and enjoy seeing a straightforward hero in action...and that's why I watch CSI MIAMI.
Dennis Franz. He's the best actor on TV and I don't make that distinction to diminish his performance in any way. The demands of big and small screens are different. When it comes to the latter, no one lays a glove on Franz.
Franz won the first of his four Emmy awards for "NYPD Lou," in which he incurred his estranged son's anger by exposing said son's untrustworthy fiancee. As good as he was there, what followed set the bar higher: his growing relationship with assistant DA Sylvia Costas, his helping an aging gay writer, his legendary battles with Lt. Arthur Fancy and his surprising taking of Fancy's back against Fancy's superior, his falling off the wagon, his befriending of a disabled Vietnam vet, his renewed relationship with his son, and his pursuit of a case which has haunted him for almost three years. The resolution of that case is, to me, a pivotal moment for Franz's character. It shows how deeply he cares, how good a detective he is, and what a difference he can make in the world if he conquers his personal demons.
NYPD BLUE SEASON ONE has the usual bumps one would expect from such an ambitious series. In retrospect, Gordon Clapp stands out from the moment his Greg Medavoy appears, but it took a while for the show's writers and producers to figure out what a gem they had in the actor and the character. James McDaniel's Arthur Fancy was equally amazing, but, sadly, the show never did as much with his character as it should have. Other terrific actors and characters made their marks. Gail O'Grady's Donna Abandando and Mike Harney's Det. Mike Roberts are stand-out recurring characters.
These first season episodes remind me how ground-breaking NYPD BLUE has been. The dialogue and events were considered outrageous at the time, yet they were almost always in service of the stories and characters. Sadly, TV seems willing to abandon the lessons of NYPD BLUE, shortchanging its most daring ideas in futile attempts to avoid offending the always-offended.
The six-disc set includes over an hour of "behind-the-scenes" conversations about NYPD BLUE. It's amusing and informative stuff. I was especially regaled by the back-and-forth between the show and the network censors, how the former had a list of words which could be used but a limit on how many times any of them could be used in any given episode. In one episode, the censors objected to the use of a slang word found in no dictionary; the writers had made it up and relied on Dennis Franz to speak it in such a way as to make its meaning clear. On being made aware of the word's recent creation, the censors withdrew their objection.
NYPD BLUE SEASON ONE is well worth its list price, but, fear not, discounts are readily available. The second series has also been released on DVD. On our usual scale of zero to five - see the handy chart elsewhere on this page - NYPD BLUE SEASON ONE earns the full five Tonys. What an outstanding presentation!
******
TONY POLLS
Every Tuesday, we post new questions at our TONY POLLS page. These questions remain active for a week, then we add up the final results and bring them to you.
Two weeks ago, we asked you to vote on which comics and books you would most like me to review in this column...and also to cast your "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" on movies and TV series that fall into the action/fantasy/horror/sci-fi genre.
Here are some of those results...
Which of these comics and books would you most like Tony to review in his TONY'S ONLINE TIPS columns?
HULK VISIONARIES/PETER DAVID VOL. 1 TP.....21.85%
Uncanny X-Men/The New Age Vol. 1 TP.....12.61%
Avengers Disassembled/Captain America TP.....11.76%
Black Hole #12.....9.24%
Gallifreyan Gazette #213.....8.40%
Fantastic Four/Disassembled TP.....7.56%
Lions, Tigers, and Bears #1.....5.88%
Rob Haines Adventures #7.....4.20%
Watson-Guptill Spring/Summer Catalog.....4.20%
Flare #4.....3.36%
Waterloo Sunset #3.....3.36%
Belly Button Comix #2.....2.52%
Mystery of Woolverine Woo-Bait.....2.52%
Elektra/The Hand TP.....1.68%
Two-Bits #1.....0.84%
Holy Moly.....0%
Volton Fanzine #1.....0%
What do these results mean? Well, I'm currently reading the Hulk Visionaries trade and plan to review it in my next TOT.
Along with those items that didn't get any votes whatsoever. Because I can.
After that, we'll see how my muse moves me.
******
Thumbs up or thumbs down: ELEKTRA?
Thumbs Up.....17.14%
THUMBS DOWN.....82.86%
Ouch! You didn't like her. You really didn't like her. On the other hand, my 13-year-old daughter and her friends did enjoy this movie.
I haven't seen the movie yet. I'm waiting for it to appear on a double-feature with CATWOMAN.
Why are you looking at me that way?
******
Thumbs up or thumbs down: LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS?
Thumbs Up.....41.18%
THUMBS DOWN.....58.82%
I didn't see this movie yet either. Maybe after I watch the two LORD OF THE RINGS movies I haven't seen, but probably not. I only have so many good years left in me.
******
Thumbs up or down: PHANTOM OF THE OPERA?
Thumbs Up.....26.92%
THUMBS DOWN.....73.08%
You are quite the Negative Nellies, aren't you?
******
Thumbs up or down: the new season of 24?
THUMBS UP.....63.64%
Thumbs Down.....36.36%
And sometimes you're just way too easy. I stopped watching 24 when they killed Jack's wife for no good reason. This is how bad habits like IDENTITY CRISIS get started.
******
Thumbs up or down: the new season of ALIAS?
THUMBS UP.....56.90%
Thumbs Down.....43.10%
You're still too easy. While I would gladly watch a hour per week of Jennifer Garner modeling those kinky wigs and outfits, the show keeps adding those boring plots and sub-plots to the mix. Can I set the TiVo to edit them out?
******
Thumbs up or down: the new season of SMALLVILLE?
Thumbs Up.....49.28%
THUMBS DOWN.....50.72%
There may be hope yet. Half of you seem to realize that this show jumped the shark last season and has been kissing it full on the mouth ever since.
Where's Doomsday when you need him?
I have some more "what you like me to review" results coming your way later in the week.
The current TONY POLLS ask you to pick your favorites DVDs in several SATURN AWARDS categories. The annual awards are given out by the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films. These questions will close sometime after midnight tonight with new poll questions going up sometime tomorrow.
You can vote on all active questions at:
www.worldfamouscomics.com/tony/poll
Unless, of course, your name is on one of these felon lists we have lying around, or you didn't respond to the mail the Republican Party sent you, or if the President's brother suddenly becomes the governor of the Internet.
******
THE WORLD'S WORST DICTATORS
David Wallechinsky's annual list of Earth's 10 worst dictators appeared in the February 13 issue of PARADE. The list was created after consultation with Human Rights Watch, Freedom House, Amnesty International, and Reporters Without Borders.
The Bush Family Evil Empire was pleased to note Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia retained his fifth-place ranking. He has been a constant inspiration to a relatively young president who has yet to crack even the dishonorable mention list. Maybe "George 44" needs to start doing some of his own dirty work instead of letting Karl Rove have all the fun.
In reverse order, the top ten are...
10. Teodoro Oblang Nguema, Equatorial Guinea (down from last year's sixth-place rank);
9. Robert Mugaba, Zimbabwe (Last Year's Rank: 4);
8. Sapamurat Niyazov, Turkmenistan (LYR: 8);
7. Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan (LYR: not mentioned)
6. Muammar al-Qaddafi, Libya (LYR: dishonorable mention)
5. Crown Prince Abdullah, Saudi Arabia (LYR: 5)
4. Hu Jintao, China (LYR: 3)
3. Than Shwe, Burma (LYR: 2)
2. Kim Jong II, North Korea (LYR: 1)
1. Omar al-Bashir, Sudan (LYR: 7)
Amusing party questions:
How many of these dictators had you heard of?
How many of them are US allies?
How many of them are doing business with the US?
How many are the US pretty much ignoring?
For more fun, you can read Wallechinsky's list of the next ten worst dictators by going to:
www.parade.com
The PARADE article itself should also be available at the site as of today.
******
TONY'S CLOSING THOUGHTS
I can guarantee I'll receive a couple of angry e-mails taking me to task for my comments re: President Bush and other Republican politicos and that neither will note that I didn't exempt the other party in Congress in my opening comments. The writers will whine about my uncivil tone and claim personal insult. I could sing the freaking chorus by now.
Here are some simple rules for dealing with me:
I'm not an elected official. I'm a writer speaking my mind as honestly as I can muster and hopefully doing so in an entertaining manner. I know I'm entertained.
If you're relying on this column for deep political insights, you are living in a world of delusion. At its basic core, most of this stuff is simple. Do your homework. See who gets hurt by what Washington does. See who benefits from it. You should be able to figure it out for yourselves and, if I've raised you right, you'll at least be angry about it.
I call them as I see them. If you campaign to deny the most basic human rights to citizens of this country, I'm thinking you've pretty much named yourself to be a bigot. I'm merely recognizing the true nature of your character.
Feeling insulted? Boo-freaking-hoo.
The bad columnist calling you names? That's this little tiny splinter in your pinky finger.
Supporting leaders, supporting legislation which hurts people in very real ways?
That's the gorilla-sized plank in your eye.
America at its best is America that accepts all who live and wish to live in peace and tolerance. I don't much like you people over there in Bush's corner, but I'll fight for your right to live your lives as you see fit...except when you fight to diminish that same basic right for others.
Your assignment for this week is to work on what "hurt" really means. For example, your marriage doesn't get hurt in the least if someone else gets to marry, gets the same civil benefits that you get, and raises kids in the kind of loving environments we all wish all kids could be raised in. If you recognize that, you get an "A" in this particular class.
Thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be back as soon as I can with more stuff.
Tony Isabella
<< 02/14/2005 | 02/21/2005 | 02/24/2005 >>
Discuss this column with me at my Message Board. Also, read Heroes and Villains: Real and Imagined.
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THE "TONY" SCALE
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Tony's Online Tips
840 Damon Drive
Medina, OH 44256
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