Marvel Comics has made Christmas shopping a lot easier for me. In 2006, I gave Amazing Marvel Universe by Roy Thomas and Stan Lee [Sterling; $50] to several close friends. The combination of Roy's lively looks at 50 "top events" in Marvel Universe history prose and Stan's 68 audio tracks made the book a terrific gift for both former and current Marvel fans.
The prose in this book is noticeably drier than in Amazing Marvel Universe, likely because writing about a company isn't as much fun as writing about the company's creators and characters. There are also some errors and omissions. An example of the former would be confusing Chris Claremont for John Byrne in discussing the end of their volatile partnership on Uncanny X-Men. It was obviously Byrne who left the book to write his own stories, not the other way around. In the latter, while the book includes several reproductions of the "Marvel Value Stamps" that 1970s readers were to cut out from their comic books and redeem for some prize, there is no information given as to what that fabled prize was. I don't remember what it was, but I hope it was replacement copies of all the comics that got ruined due to this stunt.
Whatever the shortcomings of the text, the reproductions are big fun. There are Sub-Mariner sketches from 1941-1942; postcards Bill Everett sent to his daughter while she was at a summer camp; Stan Lee's plot for the first Fantastic Four tale; goodies from the Merry Marvel Marching Society membership kit; a stock certificate for the Marvel Entertainment Group; the menu from the short-lived Marvel Mania Hollywood restaurant; and much more. And I would be remiss if I did not mention all the amazing covers, comics pages, photos, and other illustrations running side by the side with the book's text. As with Amazing Marvel Universe, this museum-in-a-box is good for hours of entertainment. You can get a sugar buzz from the sweet, sweet nostalgia.
Ellis has made his disdain for super-hero comics well known, which doesn't stop him from collecting big checks for writing them from time to time. In this series, he gathers five existing Marvel super-heroes and remakes them to suit his twisted comedy. Monica Rambeau is a nagging mother figure forever talking about her days as an Avenger. Aaron Stack is a robot who rewired his circuits so that he could get drunk and calls his teammates "fleshy humans" way too often. Elsa Bloodstone is an arrogant Brit who was raised from infancy to kill monsters; I think she's the woman Ellis wants to be when he finally has the courage to get his surgery. Tabitha Smith was a member of the New Mutants, makes stuff blow up, and, as Ellis sees her, doesn't actually have a functioning brain. The Captain is invulnerable, incredibly strong, hails from Brooklyn, is said to have been every crap hero ever named Captain "something," and once got punched out by Captain America for introducing himself with a super-hero moniker that couldn't be printed in these collections of the title's 12 issues.
The five heroes used to be members of H.A.T.E. (Highest Anti-Terrorist Effort), but quit when they learned the organization was actually a terrorist group testing weapons of mass destruction on American citizens. Now they travel from test site to test site to create havoc, make lots of property damage, and foil the schemes of the terrorists in two-issue stories. Each of these books reprints six issues of the comic book.
If you try to reconcile the characters and these stories with their Marvel Universe counterparts, you will doubtless be appalled. Me, I just decided these stories take place on one of the countless parallel universe visited by the Watcher. Though I'm guessing if the Watcher visited the Nextwave Universe, he probably got mugged in an alley for his toga. In other words, don't take the rudeness of Nextwave personally. Because these are very funny, very entertaining comics that made me laugh during a week when I really needed all the laughs I could get.
Ellis lays on the nasty with love. I screamed with delight as he mocked Fin Fang Foom and other Marvel "icons." Artists Immonen and Von Grawbadger did a great job keeping the visual storytelling flowing throughout the two volumes. Kudos must also be extended to colorist Dave McCaig, letterers Chris Eliopoulos and Joe Caramanga, and editor Nick Lowe. You all made me feel dirty.
One last comment. Please take the "parental advisory" warning seriously. These are not comics for little boys. Or little girls. Or older readers with faint hearts.
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DOC SAVAGE TURNS 75!
The legendary Doc Savage made his debut in "The Man of Bronze," the Lester Dent-authored novel that launched Doc Savage Magazine. That first issue was dated March, 1933.
While I'm trying to decide what kind of birthday present to send to Doc - I'm currently leaning towards fitting a Matchbox car with running boards - I'm also looking forward to the Nostalgia Ventures publication of Doc Savage #14: "The Man of Bronze" and "The Land of Terror" [$12.95], edited, as always, by my friend Anthony Tollin. Besides reprinting that first Doc Savage novel and one of the best novels that followed it, this collector's item pulp reprint has a never-before-published foreword and autobiographical essay by Dent, Walter Baumhofer's classic pulp covers, interior illustrations by Paul Orban and commentary by pop culture historian Will Murray. I can't wait to get my copy.
You can order this special book, any of the other Doc Savage reprints, or a six-issue subscription to the series directly from Tollin by going to:
To restate the obvious, Nostalgia Ventures and my pal Anthony also publish classic double-novel reprints of the Shadow and those can also be ordered via the above website.
In the meantime, in case my Matchbox car idea doesn't pan out, I'd love to hear your gift suggestions for Clark Savage, Jr. Send them to me at:
If I like them enough to run them in TOT, I'll shower you with praise and send you a prize for your creativity. Members of Doc's Amazing Five or their pets are not eligible to participate in this competition.
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TONY POLLS
Today's your last day to vote on last week's Tony Polls questions:
New poll questions will be posted sometime tomorrow. I have no idea what these questions will be because I haven't written them yet. I sure hope they're good ones.
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TONY'S MAILBOX
TOT is back...and that means your letters are starting to show up in my e-mailbox. I re-inaugurate this popular feature with this note from Mark C. Dooley
Two months. That's how far in advance I ordered the thrice-a-month Spider-Man through my subscription service. I've ordered no further. They have two months to prove to me this is the best thing that's ever happened to Marvel since the doctors spanked little Stan Lee's bottom.
This is why I couldn't write super-hero comics or, at least, serious, get-a-vested-interest-in super-hero comics. First off, I envy anyone who can figure out after 3/4 of a decade a brand-new way for Superman to tear Lex Luthor a new hole, or a new twist on Batman's wall-thumping the Joker. I'm just not that guy.
Second, even if I could, I don't play well with others when it comes to stuff I write and draw. I'm open for suggestions, but for some dimwit to walk in, say he's the boss, and "remember all that nonsense about Spider-Man being married that is so closely tied to the heart of Marvel continuity? Never happened! And you know how that occurred? Magic! We don't even have to explain it!"
Remember those halcyon days of yore when Spider-Man was one book and one man's vision? I sure miss those days.
I think it's safe to say online fandom is not happy with this reboot of Peter Parker's life. Even fans who didn't like Peter and Mary Jane being married seem to think this was not a smart way to change that situation. I'll probably have a few thoughts of my own on it in the near future.
In the meantime, thanks for spending a part of your day with me. I'll be taking one-day breaks from TOT every ten columns to recharge my mental batteries. So... you won't get a new column tomorrow, but I will be back on Wednesday with more stuff.
I review The Amazing Adventures of Nate Banks #1: Secret Identity Crisis, Secret Identity Crisis: Comic Books and the Unmasking of Cold War America and The Walking Dead Volume 2: Miles Behind Us.
ZERO: Burn your money before buying any comic receiving this rating. It doesn't *necessarily* mean there's absolutely nothing of value here - though it *could* - but whatever value it might possess shrinks into insignificance before its overall awfulness.
ONE: Buy something else. Maybe I found something which wasn't completely dreadful in the item, but not enough for me to recommend it when there are better comics available. I only want what's best for you, my children.
TWO: Basic judgment call. I found some value, but not enough to recommend it. My review should give you enough info to decide if you want to take a chance on it. Are you feeling lucky today, punk? Well, are you?
THREE: This denotes something I find perfectly respectable. There are better books out there, but I wouldn't regret buying this item. Based on my review, you should be able to determine if it's of interest to you. Let the Force guide you.
FOUR: I recommend anything earning this rating. Unless you don't like the genre, subject matter, or past work of the creators, I believe you'll enjoy this item. Isn't it uncanny how I can look right into your soul that way?
FIVE: Anything getting this rating is among the best comicdom has to offer. You should buy/read this, even if the genre/subject matter doesn't appeal to you. It's for your own good. Me, I live for comics and books this good...but not in a pathetic "Comic-Book Guy" sort of way.
Please send material you would like me to review to:
Anything Goes Trivia
Last Kiss
